If I asked you right now, “What is something you used to dream about doing that you haven’t thought about in a long time?” would you be able to answer right away? Or would you need some time to think about it? Are you thinking about it now? Please take a moment, and if an answer comes up, write it down.

Throughout our lives, we become entangled in relationships, jobs, places, and things. In our youth, teachers ask us what we want to be when we grow up. Some of us get to pursue those childhood dreams, while many of us get lost in the menial task of just trying to survive. Even if you did grow up to be a police officer or veterinarian, you had so many more dreams throughout your life that you probably just tucked away for one reason or another.

The things we want for ourselves in life aren’t always so grandiose. Maybe you want to feel happier at work. Or perhaps you want to spend more time pursuing a hobby versus spending hours doomscrolling on your phone. Most likely, no one is ever really coming up to you in conversation and asking, “Hey, what could you do a little differently in life that would bring you more happiness”? That would just be weird, wouldn’t it? That’s why I think it’s important to check in with yourself often – maybe even daily.

There are aspects of our lives that will feel out of our control. For a long time, I felt like I was living life for everyone else and never really checked in with myself. After my mother passed, I felt lost. I felt like I barely even knew who I was or what I even wanted from life. All of my decisions up until that point had been for the benefit of others. Since then, I’ve been checking in with myself and contemplating all sorts of personal questions. As a result, my life is shifting, opportunities present themselves, new people show up, and the things that are no longer meant for me go away all on their own.

Life is starting to feel interesting again. I no longer feel like I’m struggling against the current. When I check in with myself, I simply ask “is this thing working for me or is there something more I want now?” Sometimes the answer is no, sometimes I feel perfectly content with a situation (for now) and I can then contemplate another aspect of my life. The goal is to allow yourself a moment to envision the things you want in life. What you want to feel, experience, or physically have – it all starts with envisioning what that would mean for you and your life.

I encourage you to take time to yourself. Sit in silence or play some meditation music – anything that allows you to simply listen to your own thoughts and speak to your own mind. Remember, YOU are not your mind. You are the observer – the one who experiences and feels. Your mind is simply the storyteller – often loud, overprotective, and not always sure what’s best for YOU.

Self-Check-In Questions

Here are a couple of questions to get you started on becoming a more fulfilled YOU:

1. What’s one small step I can take toward a long-term goal or dream?
2. Am I using my free time in fulfilling or restful ways?
3. What is one small change I can make to feel more comfortable or calm at home?
4. If I could change one thing about my work life, what would that be?
5. Is there someone I miss or feel distant from – should I reach out?
6. What’s been weighing on my mind that I’ve been avoiding?

Once you’ve answered some of these questions for yourself, write them down. Keep these thoughts somewhere you can easily refer back to them. The goal is to start planting your seeds of thought. From there, you take your ideas and consider what practical actions you can take towards your new vision.

I’ve created a more comprehensive self-check-in questionnaire that you can view and download here.